.because the world is an exquisite place.

Ever since I've started "dating" or rather, getting into serious relationships, they simply crash & burn not even a few months afterwards.

When I was 16, my first boyfriend constantly kept telling me that I don't care about him, that I never want to see him, that I never do anything that shows how I feel about him. That was then. I'm 19 now, and just recently, I was almost in a serious relationship..which lasted a totaly of 3 weeks.

The guy was head over heels for me, even other people could see it, yet they couldn't believe it, especially since he has a reputation for being the Casanova in our group of friends. He completely changed, began to want to see me constantly, and then he began telling me that I was abrasive, that every time he wanted to kiss me, I would give off a disgusted body language. Once again, just like my first boyfriend, this guy was asking me if I even actually like him. (I did, er, do. Very much.) He would tell me how I would never actually tell him I like him, which was true, but that I wouldn't even show it. I live about 40 minutes away from him, and I'd drive all the way, whether I was sick, tired, had a bad day, didn't matter, just to see him. But that wasn't enough for him.

Another problem we had was that I didn't want to publicize our relationship to our mutual friends, because I knew that all the rumors and gossip would eventually break us apart. We go to the same university with all our mutual friends, so whenever we would be on campus, I wouldn't hold hands, kiss him, barely even hug him. In fact, I can, although this is very difficult for me, admit that I was actually uncomfortable kissing him. Even though I liked him!

When he told me that he couldn't deal with this emotional abuse from me anymore, he asked me to change his mind and prove him wrong. And I just sat there and stared blankly into space, even though in my head I was screaming. But I couldn't say anything to him, since I couldn't even describe to him how I feel.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I've actually began to research this issue, and I think I may have SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder), or simply emotional/intimacy issues. I'm ruining my own life!!


Let it out sister..lol
Sounds like your venting alright. That's good. I don't think your runing your life though. Don't stress guys..your way to young and beautiful. 21 and over now that's when the real fun begins. Trust me save your sanity ;)

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